Dear Queenie,

There's this couple we know that we go out to dinner with once in a while, usually to a rather expensive restaurant.

The problem is the wife always finds some fault with the food. It's not what she wanted or it's not cooked right or the seasoning is wrong or some such thing. Even after the wait staff has tried to cater to whatever she wants she goes on complaining through the whole meal. It's very embarrassing and spoils the whole occasion for us.

We really don't want to go out with this couple any more, but we don't want to hurt their feelings by refusing when they invite us.

Queenie, how should we handle this?—Embarrassed

Dear Embarrassed,

Have you ever considered simply telling the truth? By that I mean, discussing the problem with the other couple and telling them – gently – how the wife's complaining makes you feel?

If that doesn't work, just tell them you have other plans when they invite you out. And if they don't want to accept your refusal, tell them again how much the wife's behaviour embarrasses you and that you don't want to be subjected to it any more.

Frankly, considering how rude and boorish her behaviour is, both toward you and toward the restaurant staff, I don't know why you are so worried about possibly hurting her feelings.