Dear Queenie,

Why should a woman think it's the end of the world if her boyfriend or husband has an affair? Are women really so fragile that there is nothing more to live for if their men do what comes naturally to men?

Queenie, why can't they be mature and tolerant?—Caribbean man

Dear Caribbean man,

Let me ask you a few questions: Why should a man beat up or even shoot or stab his woman just because she has an affair? Why can't men be mature and tolerant? How mature and tolerant would you be if your wife cheated on you?

And now let me answer these questions: When two people make a commitment to be faithful to each other, each has the right to expect – no, to demand – that the other will be mature enough to live up to that commitment.

If one of them is unfaithful, it may not be the end of the world for the other, but it is the end of a relationship in which she (or he) has made a considerable emotional investment. It is very difficult to be tolerant under those circumstances.