Dear Queenie,

My girlfriend told me her grandfather used to molest her when she was a child. When she told her mother about it, Mom said the old man used to do the same thing to her when she was a child. She said all the women in the family knew about it but had kept it quiet to avoid embarrassment.

The problem is my girlfriend's brother. He is married and has 2 little girls, but he hasn't been told anything about Grandpa's behaviour. The rest of the family is afraid he and his wife might do something drastic if they find out.

I'm afraid of what might happen to the little girls, or what might already have happened, but if I say anything to their parents the rest of the family will be mad at me for telling their secret.

Queenie, I know the right thing to do, but how can I do it without causing trouble in the family?—Still an outsider

Dear Still an outsider,

You and your girlfriend should have a frank talk with the rest of her family.

If the family still refuses to take the necessary steps, you will have to risk their anger. If you feel you need help in approaching your girlfriend's brother and his wife, and/or the proper authorities, call the Women's Desk, Front Street #141, tel. 542-7940, or the Safe Haven hotline 9333 for assistance.

Protecting the children from physical and psychological injury is far more important than protecting the adults, especially Grandpa, from embarrassment, and if they can't accept that they deserve whatever trouble they get.